It’s been a busy few weeks since my last entry. I’ve entered my 27th year, attended two funerals, had lots of VSO meetings, supported two school open days and hit a cow (on my motorbike, not with my fists). I’ve also found out that ménage à trois means more than just living together, so to clear up any confusion caused by my last blog, I’d like to clarify that, while Tak and I share almost everything, we don’t share his wife.
When we came back from Phnom Penh after the wedding, our landlady’s mother had died. She was old and had been sick for a long time, and perhaps because of this, or perhaps because of Buddhist beliefs in reincarnation, the funeral didn’t seem to be a sad affair. It took place seven days after her death and was an occasion to wish her well as she left this world, with another funeral after a hundred days to bless her new life. Everybody wore white and when we arrived we went to give our offering to one of the monks – rice, sugar, incense, candles, condensed milk and tea. These are considered the essentials for her on her journey out of this world, although after the funeral they go to the monks, who have no income and survive on donations from people. We then ate some food and left about half an hour later.
Much worse was the death of Tak’s older sister, which happened two weeks ago, as she was only 40 and died in pretty awful circumstances. This isn’t really the place to write about it.
Work has been very busy as VSO needs to finish all of its funded activities by the end of the financial year on 31st March. Tak, Jeltje and I worked together to help two schools – Pu Trom Tmei and Sreiee – organise community open days to celebrate the new libraries that they’ve recently set up.
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| The new library at Sreiee |
They both followed a similar format: a welcome from the school director, activities from students such as talking about their favourite books, plays and songs and reading aloud, speeches from community leaders and staff from the Provincial Office of Education, a ceremony to bless the new buildings, and a communal meal. Both communities are predominantly Punong (Mondulkiri’s largest indigenous group) and so the ceremonies were traditional Punong ceremonies, involving lots of jar wine which was delicious.
As for the food, VSO provided a pig but community members donated everything else and organised the cooking, as we wanted the school to feel that they could organise similar events in the future without help from VSO or any other NGO. Both events were successful and well-attended, and we were pleased that staff from our office came too to show their support for the school and also to see the work that we’ve been doing. Finally, while I’m aware that almost every paragraph of my blog ends in this way, we finished by drinking a lot of jar wine.
The following day was my birthday. Having mentioned it to Tak the day before (before the jar wine), I thought he might at least have remembered to wish me well. He didn’t, and even Jeltje only produced a cupcake instead of the birthday cake she’d promised. As the day went on I did wonder whether they were planning something, but it seemed not. I became a bit suspicious when Tak wasn’t in the office in the afternoon and Jeltje didn’t seem to know where he was (she doesn’t normally let him out without a good excuse!), but then she said something about helping his father, which was very plausible as it was the week of his sister’s funeral. Finally, at 5pm, I nearly asked Jeltje if she was going for a drink later but felt too pathetic to be fishing for an invite on my own birthday, so I went home alone. All day it had felt like a soap opera (a shit one, like Hollyoaks) and I still wasn’t sure what the ending would be.
Later, Eng said we were all eating out, and I assumed it was at Tak’s father’s to help with the funeral arrangements, and it was only when Tak came back to pick us up and, crucially, get the bottle opener (a sure sign of red wine, not Tak’s dad’s tipple of choice) that I thought they were up to something. It was a surprise party at Jeltje’s house, and it was lovely to see so many people there. I’ve never had a surprise party before and it is really nice, but organisers should be aware that it makes people feel very sorry for themselves for most of the day!
Since then a new volunteer has arrived from Belfast. He’s very nice and is living two doors away (all six of us – me, Tak, Neil, Daniel, Jeltje and To – now live within a few hundred metres of each other on the same street). We also had a visit from VSO in Phnom Penh to see how we’re doing, and that seemed to go well. It was lucky that this happened just after the open days, so the people from the POE who attended the meeting had a better idea of the work we’ve done.
I’m now in Phnom Penh about to start the second bout of language training which I’m looking forward to, although I’m annoyed that I’ve slipped down the rankings a bit as other people have improved their Khmer at a much faster rate than me. I am, however, learning the alphabet with the help of a first words book designed for Cambodian children, and I can write fork, spoon, shampoo, mother, tree, cat etc. Tak is here too although he has chicken pox (‘ot swai’ in Khmer, which sounds a lot like ‘not a mango’) and is feeling very sorry for himself. I’ve been playing chief nurse – I’m not sure why as he’s staying with his mum who is an actual nurse – but Eng is coming today so my duties are over.
Finally, my pigeon hole is overflowing with parcels which I’m going to open right now - thank you!
