Family times

Last weekend we took Tak’s mum home to Phnom Penh, after an interesting month living all together. She is a bit like a radio with the off button broken, and at times she seems to pick up different stations at once as she drifts between Khmer and French with no warning of the signal change. Still, I have enjoyed listening and have learnt a lot – she’s like Radio 4, a shopping channel and a Cambodian National Party spokesperson all in one.

Firstly, I’ve learnt that I don’t know how to buy tomatoes, green peppers or mushrooms. Every shopping trip was followed by an examination of my purchases, with a scolding for anything that looked like it might be expensive or Vietnamese. She also taught me a lot about cabbage, which was one of her favourite subjects that she returned to at least daily. And she told me that red hair wasn’t good, but that she would forgive me because I was foreign and couldn’t help it.

Washing my clothes was a trial, as I do everything I’m not supposed to do - using the kitchen rather than the bathroom, heating up water, using too much washing powder, doing it myself when I ought to have a wife to do it for me. I think I managed to win her over on the washing up though, as she nodded approvingly at my technique. Phew.

Seriously, though, it was very nice to feel part of a Cambodian family and it felt quite authentic – Tak got infuriated and spent lots of the time avoiding her, leaving us plenty of opportunities to continue talking about cabbage. At other times they would both come home in good spirits and we would talk and have a drink which was lovely.  She is a great person and actually probably one of the most independent Cambodian women I’ve met: she is separated from her husband, drinks alcohol (most women don’t), sits with Tak’s friends when they come round (rather than retreating to the kitchen as other women do), and speaks her mind.

And in Phnom Penh, coming back from a visit to Tak’s cousin, she said she hadn’t eaten the food there because she didn’t like the thought of me not eating there too. I was very moved by this kind thought.   

Back at work, things are getting exciting. I’ve been to Phnom Penh twice recently to buy children’s books to support library projects at three primary schools. Visiting one of them today for a meeting about something else, it was great to see a group of children spending their breaktime reading. 

Once the libraries are set up, Jeltje and I are encouraging the schools to organise open days for families and community members to come to the school, discuss their children’s progress with the teachers, watch children perform something related to their learning, and cook a communal meal. If they work well, they will engage the community in their school, provide an opportunity to celebrate the children’s learning and promote the use of the library among the children as well as the community. And if they don’t work well, at least there’ll be some food.